Musings: A collection of Robin Slade Stories
by Dstar504
Summary: Just a collection of short Robin Slade stories. Now with Slash. This week: Two
1. Addiction

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: I have writers block at the moment. So let's see where this leads…

**Addiction**

He didn't know when they stared, but he knew the feelings now. They were deep inside of him, trying, like banshees to crawl out. And it was making its presence known. And it was uncontrollable, like a hunger that could never be quenched. Slade had told him that he got a thrill from it, that it got his heart pumping. And now, lying in bed, he knew the man was right. This addiction, this tortuous feeling would not die inside of him. Bored to death he lurched out of bed and started to pace. Fingers twitching he was about to leave the room when the siren went off. Sighing he grabbed his belt and rushed out of the building and hopped on his cycle, "Raven, what do we have?"

From the sky one of his friends, Raven swooped down, following him. Behind him Cyborg's car revved into life, "regular's," she replied back.

The trip to the bank was short lived, however and it did nothing to stop the need that was surging though Robin. He needed good challenge. Something to get his blood flowing. And he oddly wanted Slade back, someone he could go head to head with. To end this addiction. So that it wouldn't come back, making him crave the night outside. And yet he fought. He fought it like a mad man, the thing that Slade had created. And now watching his friends disappear he knew that he needed it to be done. Knew where he had to go, "guys I have something to take care of. I'll meet you back at the tower."

They accepted it, not questioning him. And he turned his cycle around, heading for the hideout only he knew about. As it loomed in front of him he thought of what he was doing, knew what he was doing; yet his addiction drove him. And when he reached the walls of the broken down factory and hopped off his bike he felt a sense of dread flood him. And that only made it worse. Once inside the building he found the room he was looking for and a dark voice slipped from the shadows, "I knew you would come back."

Robin turned as Slade made his way out of the darkness, his posture straight, and his mood dark. He walked over to Robin and begun to circle him, Robin's eyes watching him all the while, "I came to fight."

Slade's voice was smooth when he replied, as if knew, what Robin was really after, "no, you came to get beaten. To have an excuse to rejoin me, so that you friends, the ones that you want to love you still will. Admit it, you like working for me."

Robin let out a cry of anger and launched himself at Slade, Bo staff out and ready to strike the taller dark man in front of him. But when his staff came down all it hit was air. Slade appeared as if by magic behind him and he dared not to look up, dared not to show how much of him was craving this, wanting this, "I never liked working for you, ever. I came to finish this."

Yet he too could hear how his words betrayed the lie that he was telling, how his words were empty. And Slade could tell, "no Robin. You came back, back to me, it's time that you gave in, my young apprentice."

"I can't."

Slade's voice washed over him, "then I will help you."

A hand fell on his shoulder and twisted Robin onto the ground, throwing him against the hard wall of the factory. Robin got up on shaky leg and then collapsed onto the ground. Slade moved to where the fallen Robin was and Robin looked up at him, "I don't…"

Slade's chuckle caught him off guard, "go to your old room. There you will find all you will need."

Robin rose once more and looked at Slade, who was still looking at him in the darkness as he made his way to his room. His addiction taking him over.

**A/N: Fun right? I have another story not like this, but about the two of them on the way. Not sure when I will get it up, Review please!**


	2. Villain

**Disclaimer:** Once again I do not own the characters. The people who do have the powers to sue my pants off. So please… don't, I happen to like my pants.

**A/N**: Writers block is gone! Second story in my little collection. Also some one told me that my first story was like slap in the face, well if that hurt... This one I believe will hurt more.

**Villain**

It's been twenty years since we got together. Twenty long years. Sure we still fight crime, and we still save the day, but a lot has changed. We are no longer called the Teen Titians, merely just the Titians. Raven's changed a lot, she's wiser and can control her emotions. Cyborg has turned into one of the most sought after car creators. Beast Boy no longer laughs and plays. But then again, none of us do. Not any more, not after she died. Not after my wife, and most beloved was taken from us. She was the innocence of the group, the one who laughed at everything, who found joy in even the darkest days. But now, she is gone, killed off by an unnamed villain. And what about me you wonder? What about Robin? I guess I've changed as well. Not just my voice, which has deepened, but I'm no longer rash, or angry. I got rid of that a long time ago. In fact, for a while I was happy, completely happy. Now, I have no emotions. Raven was the first to notice, the first to point it out, "just because she's dead doesn't mean you have to shut yourself out."

I answered her in a flat monotone voice, "It doesn't matter any more."

And it didn't, not to me any way. It was weeks after, many weeks after, when I first killed in cold blood. And oddly, I can still tell you why I did it. I was unsatisfied, unhappy, and bored. Yes, I the great Robin, killed, because I was bored, because it was something to do. Something to take my mind off everything else. They were all appalled at me, all worried, "dude! You just killed that guy!" I can still hear Beast Boy's voice in my ears.

And my flat answer, "so? He was a villain, does it matter?"

They dropped it after that, they no longer talked about it. Yet I could see their faces were haunted with what I had done. But it didn't happen just once, it happened again, and again, and again. And each time I would answer the same way, "it was a villain, does it matter?" and each time they would drop it.

Yet after a while not even death was enough to keep me from the boredom that followed me everywhere, like a shadow, clinging to me where ever I went. So I began to hunt, hunt for objects. In fact, if you will, I began to steal. And I began to see the flaws in my friends. Began to see reasons to disregard them. Finally I started going on missions on my own, taking what I wanted, killing those who got in my way.

They saw what I was doing, tried to stop me even, "Robin! You're going insane!" Beast Boy.

"Robin, you must stop this now," Raven.

And Cyborg, "Man, you have to stop what your doing, it's not going to turn out well."

But they didn't see. They didn't understand what I had come to understand, friends were useless, they were just useless. And so I shut them out, "I have my reasons, there is no need for a great amount of panic, trust me."

It was about this time that I moved to the basement and begun tinkering with things. Creating things. Sometimes I would fix problems in the tower, but mostly I started to create weapons. The first time I created one of them, I was stunned, horrified what I had created. Yet as it came to life and I looked at it, I understood. I sent it out into the town to get what I needed, and it obeyed. Without question, a loyal follower. I watched it go, and smiled to myself. When it returned to me it held the first piece in a large puzzle.

Beast Boy was the first to venture down into the basement, down into my dark lair. And when the light hit me I cringed. It had been to long since my last trip to the surface, and I shaded my face from it. He looked at my servant and looked up at me, a look of pure fear on his face. It was the first time I had seen fear on the face of my friends. Fear not for me, but about me. And oddly I liked it, he looked down, "what have you created!"

I looked at the creature behind me, "merely a servant"

He looked down again, "I have to tell the others, they will want to know about you."

I shook my head, "no, you will not tell them. You do value you life correct?"

His eyes went wide, as if I had muttered a curse at him, or as if I had just wiped out the population of the city. I knew though, that this would not be the last time I tried to kill the Titians. I stopped short at my thoughts, when had I stopped being one? It was hard to remember, but I knew now that that it was true. I was no longer one of them, I was different. It was an odd though and I quickly moved on.

"what?"

I looked back up at him, "don't make me repeat myself. I so hate doing it."

He gulped and made his way back up the stairs. I smiled as he left, and turned my attention back to my work. Back to the machine in front of me, a machine for one. I waved to my servant and he hobbled off, to find me my last piece. I walked over to the screen in the back of the room and turned it on, I could see them, all in the main room, talking to each other.

"It's him," Beast Boy whispered as if I could hear him.

"Who?" Raven asked.

"The one who we though was dead, it's him."

I turn it off. No longer needing them to confirm what I had already figured out. And I sat down to wait, it was late when my servant returns, and I wonder why no one has ventured down into the basement. Yet I think I know, I'm sure I know. They think that I am no longer threat, only because they have seen me before. Yet they do not know, that by tonight, they will be dead, that my last message to them will be death. I fit the piece in and then walk to the back of the basement, the very back and uncover a box hidden long ago. I quickly open it and pull out what is inside, and just as I had figured, the outfit fits me perfectly. I slide the mask over my face and look at the device on my hand. I set it to detonate as soon as I'm gone and set the date. The journey I am taking a one way trip. I hit the button to finalize my plans and I shimmer away from those who I know, outside the tower bursts into flames as the device explodes killing anyone who is in the tower.

I appear outside the tower of the Teen Titians, ready to help a young Robin. Ready to help him see that he doesn't need friends, that we are more alike the similar. But of course, first I must bait him, bait myself, lure myself in. Oddly, I know just how to do it, just how to bring him to his knees. I set off across the water on one of the boats and enter the city, enter a place filled with memories. But I push them aside, for I have no need of them now. As I disappear down the ally way I smile back to the destroyed time travel device, smile at what is to come, and the question I will put inside my head, inside Robin's head, a question he will not know the answer to until now, _"Who is Slade?"_

For I am Robin, and I am Slade.

**A/N:** **That story was fun to write! I think it totally deserves some Reviews don't you? Also: Dstar Will be going on a little trip, not sure when I'll be back but the next short story will be: Obession.**


	3. Obsession

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it. Never have never will.

**A/N:** I'm back. Had this one in the brain for a while. Let's see if it will work it's magic. Also this one is somewhat Slashy…

Obsession 

The first time I entered his room I was surprised by what I saw. Had my message really shocked him that much? Shaken him that badly? But I could tell that it had, pictures, articles, all sorts of clipping lined the wall of his room. My face stared back at me, glaring at the bed where the boy slept, a reminder to him to search, to look. And he was looking, papers were scattered across his room, things on them circled and crossed out. To the point of obsession. To the point of insanity. It was, it was lovely. That's when I knew that he was the one. I heard him groan behind me and I turned to look at him, he was so small, so tiny. And yet his body held so much power, so much raw untapped power. Power that I wanted to harness, no matter the risks.

He turned over again, eyes open now, he was staring at me. I suppose he was in shock. His mortal enemy in his room, I chuckled and he blinked twice. Just to make sure his eyes weren't lying to him. After making sure, he jumped up from his bed and into battle position, "Slade…" he hissed.

My mind begun to whirl, how could I shape him? How could I mold him? How could I make him like me? I smirked under my mask, "I'm not here to fight Robin."

His face contorted in anger and he leapt at me body screaming for battle, "Like hell you aren't!"

"I'm not dear Robin."

His anger drove him on, and I began to understand how to make him mine, how to change him. Anger, power, even want was a powerful motive. I moved slightly and he was sent crashing into his desk, he stood up and glared at me, "why don't you fight?"

I sighed; the boy's impatience was wearing me thin. And I turned, "like I said, I am not here to fight. Only to learn."

I hated leaving him like that, stewing in his own anger, but it was necessary. I had to do it. I merely nodded to him and opened the door next to him and left, gave him time to think every thing over, give him a chance to calm down.

The next time I entered his room was no different. Nor was the third. Or the forth, but on the fifth I could tell that something had changed. A table in the middle of the room was cleared. On it was data about his friends, data for weakness. I put it down again and looked around the room that had become like a second home to me. I could feel Robin when I was in it. I could think, could plot, for our encounters in his room had taught me one thing, He had to be mine more than ever. I put the paper down and looked back at the paper clippings. This time I circled something, a plan already formulating in my mind.

I never really returned to his room. Not really. But from that point on I was obsessed with my little bird. I had to catch him and cage him. Obsession does that to you.

**A/N: Short, and not as good as my second one… I really like that one. Bah.**


	4. Withdrawals

**Disclaimer**:Not mine

**A/N**: This one's different, has more dialog and only a brief confrontation…

**Withdrawals**

Robin felt his feet hit the ground and his eyes filtered back and forth between the walls looking for an escape. Finding one he quickly slid his body into the small crevice. Behind him those chasing him rushed past his hiding spot. He let out a breath of air, and let his hand relax around the object that he had been holding. Maneuvering himself from the crack he slid out and continued down the corridor, knowing very well that those after him would soon find him and searched the skylight for a exit. The sound of feet returned this time coming right at him, pulling out one of his smoke bombs from the belt that hung at his hip he threw it in the general direction of where the sound was coming from. Then he swung up and into the vent above him.

The sounds stopped as the world around him faded into a blank room, the object in his hands also faded. Behind him he could here the Titians talking, or more like Beast Boy complaining, "That's how many times he's beaten us?"

Smirking Robin gave the reply, "Right now? It's about ten times."

"Right."

Starfire wined, "Why does he always have to play the bad man?"

There were many answers to that question, some Robin didn't even want to answer himself. Those answers involved a cold taunting voice, haunting his sleep, and his dreams. The voice that told him that somewhere, even though it was only simulations, that some part of him never took it as a simulation; that was the part of him that liked it, the part of him that _He_ had told him about. But those answers were not for their ears, they would remain carefully hidden in the shadows, so that they would never know about them. His answer was very different, "Because I'm the one who studies them so much."

Starfire pouted, "I would like to be the bad man once."

The group exited the room and Robin quickly retired to his room and lay in his bed thinking over everything that had happened, glancing over at the Red X suit in the corner he felt compelled to put it on once more, just to see how it felt, his brain telling him, not because he wanted to. He just wanted to wear it again, just to convince himself of how over _Him _he was. Those moments as _His_ apprentice meant nothing, the thrill he knew he had felt, and those moments of weakness were nonexistent.

And so, it was with careful hands that he put it on, and with that one action that he found himself in this situation. He hadn't meant to do it, he told himself, he hadn't meant to come here still in the Red X suit, but some how, he knew deep down that he wanted to be here, and that this was only the beginning.

His hand reached out and grabbed the weapon in front of him, his heart beating as he held it up to his eyes to inspect it for imperfections. He found none. You see, getting in had been the easy part. But he knew that they knew that he was here, that they would be here soon.

And they were, he could here the sound of feet as they entered the room. By that time he was safely above them, hanging suspended from the ceiling where he knew they couldn't find him. The figures in the room left and he dropped down to the ground, the trip out was easy too, even the return trip to the tower was easy, and yet, his heart was pounding a mile a minute as he pulled the suit off and placed it back where it belonged.

Somehow, the knowledge of what he had done had yet to seep into his mind, but when one of the Titians knocked on his door, and he looked at laser that lay on the table he finally realized what he had done. He quickly put it away and answered the door Raven stood there, "There was a break in at one of the weapon facilities downtown. Where were you?"

He knows where he was, he was the one who took it. The one who couldn't control his urge, who couldn't stop himself from putting on that dreaded suit once more and leaving, giving in, like _He_ said he would. But he lies, "I was out training. I must of missed the alarm."

Raven narrows her eyes, "We tried to contact you, you didn't answer."

"I didn't bring it with me, I didn't want to be interrupted." Another lie.

She seems to buy this and turns away closing the door. Robin slumps against the door and pulls out the weapon he had taken. He can't keep it, he knows that much. And he knows he has to give it to some one, and he knows who, but to give it to _Him_ would be admitting that _He_ was right. There's little he can do about it. He flicks the computer on, he has no way to contact _Him_ but he guesses that some way will present itself.

He's right of course, the next day the alarm rings. There's been a break in at one of the weapons facilities. It's only been a week since he escaped _Him_ but the man isn't wasting any time. He knows it's _Him _because of the place that's being targeted.

The trip to the hold is quick as it always is. But it seems long and drawn out, he has to find some way to give it to _Him _with out questions. But that's impossible and he knows it. He gets off and departs from his team, let them deal with the bots. He finds the actual room of the theft easily, and _He_ is there, waiting as he knew he would be. Robin doesn't move, only speaks, "Slade."

There, he's said his name without flinching, without the memories of what really happened while he was with him. He stands up and doesn't move his hands by his sides. Slade doesn't move either, both know that they didn't come here to fight, not this time, "I heard that there was a break in one of the other weapon facilities, good work Robin."

Robin tires to find some sort of shock at what Slade says, but he can't find any. Somehow he knew that he would find out, that he would know. But he feigns surprise anyway, "How did you know?"

"Getting in and out with little to no detection, who else would it be."

It's a statement, and the moment he's been looking for. He chucks the weapon that's hanging on his belt at Slade and the man catches it. Pulling it down he starts to inspected it but Robin breaks his train of though, "There's no need. It's perfect."

Slade nods and turns, Robin lets him go. After all, who will he turn to when the withdrawals kick in?

**A/N:** **I wanted to write more… but… eh the ending wouldn't let me. Also I've been thinking about doing another one based after Villain. Good idea? Bad? You tell me.**


	5. Criminal

**Disclaimer**: NOT FRACKING MINE!

**A/N**: This is what I think should of happened in the movie after Robin mentioned becoming something else… and how I think it should of ended. No actual Slade in this one, just a looming presence.

**Criminal**

He's in prison; he can't believe he's in prison. After all the stunts that he pulled as X and all the things he did as Slade's apprentice, it's this that gets him in prison. Some part of him knew that it had to happen at some time. That he couldn't stay clean for forever, but still, he though it would last longer.

Thinking back he remembers the body on the ground. And the pink goo that had stained his hands, and face. Killing some one should have changed him more than it did. He should be sorry for who ever it was that is dead now, but he doesn't. And he doesn't want to be in jail.

So he plans, calls over one of the guards and talks to him, speaks to him. It's frightening now easy this is how easy it is to revert to Slade's teachings. About escape and all other sorts of things he though he had forgotten. Seconds latter the man is on the ground, out cold. And the key's are in Robin's hands, twisting and turning the lock.

For such a hi-tech place you think security would be better. It's not, and so getting out is one of the easiest things he's ever done. He looks at the man and makes quick work of his outfit. When it's on him all he has to do is find the door. This, it turns out to also be easy.

Outside the building he sheds what he's wearing and realizes that they're going to be looking for him. And knows that he has to be some one else. Knows just what he has to be too.

He shouldn't have brought it. Doesn't know why he carries it everywhere, but when he reaches their ship and starts digging through the luggage he knows why. It's something he can't let go of. Even now, after two years of not wearing it; his fingers touch the black and orange material and he sheds his own costume to put it on.

He puts the mask on too, and then moves into the city. To the district that man had told them to go to. He finds the bar easily enough and strides in. He knows what he's doing as he flips the man over his shoulder, knows what he's doing as he threatens then man in front of him. However it all seems as if it's happening in slow motion, that he's really not in control of his body. And that rush comes back. The one you get when you know that you have all that power.

He hears sirens and understands that they're for him. Drops the man he's holding and leaves. Moments latter a bike comes roaring out of the holding.

Behind him, the cars come. Chasing him though the streets, he was taught better, knows better. But can't help grunting in aggravation when he's caught. Or when it's Starfire that saves him, confusion on her face when she see's what he's wearing.

The house that they're hiding in makes him sick. But when he learns that what they are fighting, what he fought were just ink, that he didn't actually kill, some part of him is glad. The other part knows that no matter what happened, he still did something bad, "See? There is nothing to fear Robin. You did not kill the bad man."

Raven pushes his outfit in front of him, he looks at it and then at his teammates, "No, but I wanted too."

Starfire seems stunned for a moment, "But he is not of the dead. So it is okay."

Pushing his old outfit away from him he looks at them, "No, it's not. I wouldn't have stopped if he wasn't human. I won't wear this any more."

They all seem puzzled, "You just going to abandon us then?"

He turns to Cyborg, "Whatever this is needs to be stopped, after that… I'm not so sure."

When they leave he's not wearing the green, yellow, and red. The orange and black are still on his body, declaring who he belongs to.

The trip to the building where the mastermind is hiding is easy. Far too easy, and it's just where he thought it would be. The comic store, his boot make hollow sounds on the ground and when he find who it is, who is causing all the mayhem and destruction he's not surprised. Uehara Daizo, he should have figured.

His friends attack the monsters, he goes after the commander. Not wasting any time. The fight is short, this man not having anything on him. Outside he knows it's too early to celebrate. The building starts to shake and Uehara Daizo comes out, his body collecting ink and powering him as he goes. Robin doesn't think twice he leaps. Thinks about killing the commander too; however he still had his friends to think about, he won't pin that on them too. And pulls, Brushogun flops out and the commander loses power, the ink flying every where. Including on Starfire.

When a hand reaches down to help her up she gladly accepts, and finds herself staring at a green face, "Beastboy? Where is friend Robin?"

"He's gone Starfire. Did what he had to and then just left."

No one wants to speak. Far above them Robin has already reached his ship. He hits the top and slides in. Orange and black, colors that he had never thought he would wear again. But he had wanted to kill a man, had thought that he had killed on that is. Nothing could change the fact that if it was a real human, he wouldn't take it back.

The fact that his friends don't see it that way only further explains the difference between him and them. He's no hero, he's not even close.

When he comes close to Jump City (he figures his friends are still in Tokyo, celebrating) he hits a button on his ship. Sounds of frequency are heard and then a face appears on the screen, Robin speaks first, "Hello master."

The figure only smiles.

**A/N: HA! I didn't use the name of the story in this one. Quite proud of that right now.**


	6. Cry

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TT, but I love them very much.

**A/N: **This one is Slash without a doubt. First one I wrote as such.

**Cry**

Sometimes when he's around his mind breaks and shatters, and rends as he remembers.

Sometimes it's different.

Sometimes, like today he has to remind himself why he hates him.

He tortured my friends.

Tried to kill them.

Forced me to fight them.

He hates himself for caring. He hates himself for liking what he should not.

Yet when Slade's hands touch him, and he screams out into the night, he can't help but wonder if in the end; this is how it's supposed to be.

**A/N: Well that was short as hell. But I wanted it to be.**


	7. Madness

**Disclaimer:** Not mine at all. Not at all. Never mine. Never ever mine

**A/N:** You know what? This idea of one-shots? It was all my idea. You people out there you… you people… you copy people. Where did you get it into your mind that you could take my… (stops for a second and realizes that people with pitch forks are coming after her, starts to run) I was joking. Guys? Guys? Don't do that, that's my leg. Come on, that's my arm. Okay… ow. This one is odd, its Robin's broken mind comparing himself to a cup. Don't ask where it came from.

**Madness**

There are two choices he tells himself.

One is plain as day: The cup in front of him exists. It's a painful poison that when he drinks will kill him. And will consume him whole. Eating at his flesh until he, like the downed poison does not exist. And when he is done not existing and not living no one will care. And then like the cup he will be rinsed and reused and made to do something that he is not used to doing, maybe he will be filled with soup. Something that a cup should not be filled with, but the cup having already been cleaned will not resist, because it doesn't know how to any more.

The other option scares him even more: there is no cup. There never was a cup, nothing to hold anything in. When one goes to get that cup and finds it missing, the person will be angry and thrash about, hurting all in its path which might include the plate or the fork which the old cup used to love very much. And when those things are but gone, then the cup will suddenly show up again like most cups or as lost items tend do. But by then it is too late. And the man will want another cup, a better cup. And the old cup is left out to dry, and the other cup takes its place.

Some part of him wonders what will happen when the cup that exists makes up its mind to exist or not.

Other parts know what road the cup will chose. Even though existing is scary it will protect the plate and then fork. Yet it also knows that not existing is freedom, but a lonely painful freedom.

The man opens the cupboard, and the cup screams in protest. It will soon learn to be quite however.

Soap stings.

**A/N: Yeah that odd little piece was brought to you by my mind not knowing what to write and the phrase "there is no cup" working it's way into my mind and demanding to be part of a Robin/Slade story. Review?**


	8. Spiral

**Disclaimer:** Blargh. It's not mine.

**A/N: **I guess this is my spin on The End. Which I guess had to come at some point. This one just has different dialog and stuff. And sadness. Seriously guys, I think this one is really depressing. Although not as weird as my other one. That one was strange….

**Spiral**

He remembers seeking him out after Raven made the world stop and time bleed. He remembers the fight, the ensuing carnage. How he had come looking for answers and had found something that had changed him, _"She's going to destroy the world little one. She's known about it since she was little. And yet she hid it from you, why?"_

He remembers the confusion on the way home, not knowing what to think. Having to pick the pieces up and figure them out one by one. He also remembers asking her what was going on, _"Nothing important. Just let it go."_

It was the sound of her voice the no-answer that she gave him that had him crawling back to him for more answers, for more violence, it was all they ever did. And his words sinking into him, binding him, tempting him with a way out, _"She's accepted it. Chosen this path, she doesn't care about the world any more. Or you. You could save the world you know…"_

Not sure how to answer. Doesn't know which path to chose, he could save the world. To save it would be to embrace the darkness, and he doesn't think he's ready for that. Has ever been ready for that. So he goes back into his world of light and waits, and waits for the End to come. He doesn't want to surrender. Yet, on the day that it's going to happen, the morning before, he returns, _"Okay. I'll do it."_

There's such a thin line between right and wrong and he's just crossed it. He knows that, understands that. But damn it if he doesn't want the world to end, he's selfish, he likes the day. Likes everything about it. And doesn't want it to end.

So he spends all the time he can with her that day, smiling, laughing. And they act as if they have always been friends and nothing is going to change that. And for a while he remembers just what happiness feels like. Until the sky darkens. Until she says that it's time.

Some part of him laughs as the night comes alone in his room. Until his room alights and he's there and the weapon is on the table, _"This should do the trick."_

_"I know."_

He's helping the madman too, he understands that. Not only will this cure _him_, oh yes he finally saw what was under that mask, but it will make sure the world is safe. If only for a little while. The part that he will play in the safe world will be different, he knows that now, but... it's too late to think over what he's done wrong. So he picks it up.

By now she's gone. He knows that she's left, to protect them he's guessing. And he knows that only one person knows where she's gone. So he follows him, follows him into the darkness. The night isn't over and it isn't time yet.

Behind him he can hear the sounds of his friends. They are coming too, to help her and he wishes they would just leave, as to not see what he's about to become, "It is time, the prophecy must be fulfilled."

She starts to spin, and as his friends enter the room he raises the gun in his hand. The portal opens, and he fires. Two different rays spiral from it, one into the portal, that causes it to snap shut quickly, all things that it touched or tried to change returning to their first forms. And the madman can feel his flesh return. The second shot, however hits the girl on the platform, searing her insides so that this will never happen again. So that just in case the other shot failed, the portal would not open, "Robin?"

He doesn't look back at the body of Raven, lying lifeless on the ground. Doesn't even speak to Starfire, whose eyes look at him searchingly, trying to understand just what he did. No, instead he goes back into the darkness and blends into it seamlessly, _"Welcome home."_

He's not sure whose voice it is any more, his or Slade's.

**A/N: So that's never going to happen. Review!**


	9. Child

Disclaimer: Tis not mine. Rebecca however is mine, as is the plot.

**A/N:** So originally this was going to be a very long verse, but after much debate I'm turning it into a one shot and placing it here.

**Child**

The first time Rebecca met her father was her first day in Jump City. She was saving the people he was trying to kill. She was shadowed in all black, but he was given the luxury of orange, while then she didn't know he was her father she felt instantly drawn to him, like a moth to a flame, "Who are you?"

He had cocked his head, "Robin. And what's your's little girl?"

"They call me The Bat."

He smirked, "A little conceited of you don't you think?"

"No, not at all. He's dead. I took his place."

At this the man in front of her smiled, "I knew the old man couldn't last forever. There are some that can and some that cannot. I wonder which you are."

And then he was gone.

The second time she met him, he told her the truth, or the truth as much as one so fallen as him could manage. She was in the park, sitting and watching the birds, just watching them. They scattered when he arrived, he was mask less and they way he looked was nothing at all like she imagined, he was tall but thin, yet not so thin that he seemed sickly, his hair was black and a mess on his head. And his blue eyes seemed to see right into her very being. She touched her own unruly black hair and messaged it between her fingers as he sat down with her. He tilted her face towards his, and she shut her eyes to his prying eyes, "No, open them."

She didn't want to, she would be too open, and if she opened them she knew it would be like falling, she shook her head but found her eyes opening any way brilliant green eyes staring up into his blue ones, "What are you doing to me?"

"You have your mother's eyes. The same eyes she showed me as she begged for her life."

Rebecca pulled away as if burned, "You… you killed my mother?"

He sighed, as if talking to a child, which she suspected he though she was, "I loved your mother. But I loved another more, and when she hid you from me, I could not spare her life any more."

The set under her creaked as Rebecca stood up quickly, eyes wide and scared, "You're lying to me."

"Why would I lie to my own daughter?"

She felt her heart stop, and before he could say any more, she fled. Trying to place as much distance between herself and the mad man, praying to whatever deity would listen that her blood, was not tainted like his, and that some part of her was worth saving.

When she met him next, he was not alone. He had brought some one with him, this man was taller than her father, and wider than her father, he too wore orange and black, but he seemed harsher than her father, with even more twists and turns than some of the hall ways back in Bruce's manor. Hallways that when she was a child used to frighten and confuse her, "It's good to finally meet you Rebecca. You're father has told me a lot about you. Tells me how good you are, how wonderful."

Anger filled her veins, "You were watching me?"

Her words of venom didn't seem to faze either of them, "What sort of father would I be if I didn't watch over my own kin?"

"What do you want from me?"

The larger man knelled down, his voice purring over her body, leaving her paralyzed to do anything, wondering how a man so evil could be so seductive when even his face had yet to be shown to her, "The same thing I ask of your father, the same thing he gives me, day after day out of love, no matter the order. Obedience."

"No."

"I'm so sorry Rebecca."

Then all she knew was blackness.

In between fits of wakefulness and fits of darkness in the cold cell that had become her prison she learned one thing, and that was the name of the man who had destroyed he family, and was slowly destroying her: _Slade_.

The first time Rebecca met her father she was knelling in front of Slade and Robin, as the two looked down on her, "What is your name?"

"Shadow."

"And who do you serve?"

"My masters."

"Good."

**A/N: Did… did I actually just update? I did! Drinks all around!**


	10. Bender

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. But I want it so bad.

**A/N:** Holy shit on a sandwich I'm back bitches. So this is for Wynja who had her birthday ages ago (ages and ages) and I wanted to write her something but couldn't think of anything and then she wrote me something and then I really wanted to write something but was still blank… but now I'm not! So Wynja this is for you hon. Sorry it's so angsty and dark. In fact this is I think, my darkest work ever.

**Bender**

There are two worlds, one is black and safe and feels like home and there other one is filled with white walls and people in white suits telling him that what happened wasn't his fault, that the deaths of his friends were not his fault. But he knows that they are lying, knows that as surely as he can feel the blood on his hands. They poke needles into him and tell him to go to sleep and that everything will be okay. That's where he enters the dark world. The safe world. He hates the voices that he hears in the dark world _kill, kill, kill them all._ But it is better than the world where everyone is dead and dying and decaying inside.

_Kill them, free yourself_

_Touch death and enjoy it_

He used to fear the dark world, at first it was empty of sound and he was all alone. But now that the one voice is there he doesn't feel so alone any more. He knows the voice is horrible but it's comforting, keeping him company in the darkness. And he knows the voice, knows that it is familiar, knows that person who the voice belongs too is not to be trusted.

The voice was nice at first. Telling him funny stories and jokes, trying to keep his spirits up.

_Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?_

_Why did six hate seven?_

_Knock-knock_

_Who's there?_

But as time went on the voice changed, becoming the sinister voice he heard now. He liked that voice better. At least it was honest, unlike the first voice that was filled with false cheer and reminded him too much of friends long gone. But the second voice, oh how the second voice called to his soul, tormenting it with what it could never have.

He kills a paramedic about three months after the voice started speaking to him. It had told him that this man was not worth his time, was one of his captors. It had instructed him on how to hit just right, just hard enough with the pole that had been his headboard. She had bleed out and he had used her blood to pain the walls red.

_He is coming_

_Savoir_

_Please forgive me_

_So good, so nice, the color, the warmth_

_No regrets_

_Save me_

After that the voice gained the power of touch. Now when he faced the darkness he could feel hands caressing him, coaxing him into hardness and then spilling his seed into the black endless void. He liked this incarnation of the voice best, the pleasure it gave him. And it was especially good to him after a kill.

_Good boy Robin_

He kept killing after that. More and more and more. They tried to give him drugs but that just made him people faster and faster, because the more he hurt and killed the more drugs they gave him to go back to the voice. The voice that purred so softly in his ear after each kill, that touched him and brought him bliss with bloodstained hands.

_Please._

_You want more my little bird? My little pet?_

_Yes._

_Then kill them all._

_Will you come for me then?_

_Would you like to be bound to me?_

_Very much._

_Then stain this place red, and then let it burn, they have harmed you after all._

_I am not to be kept._

_You don't want to be my little caged bird?_

_Anything, anything for you._

The voice got a name after that. He became known as master. Master helped him plan his escape, helped him plan how to get out so that he could destroy them all. He drew pictures on the walls with the blood of his victims, intricate pictures that no one could understand. On the day that he broke out they started to fire at him, started to try to kill him, just as Master had told him.

_Kill_

He slashed through the throat of a pretty blond girl, one who had helped feed him the drugs.

_Destroy_

A man feel next, one of the patients, one of the people who was trying to fix their insanity instead of embracing it. A waste of space.

_Murder_

One after one the people fell, soon the whole floor was covered in blood, walls painted with it. And yet there were still more people, still more destruction to be done.

_Slaughter_

He gutted the guard with a knife and then all he heard was silence. The room looked like a sea of red. He heard clapping behind him and his eyes lit up at the sigh of the person, "Well done Robin."

"Did it please you?"

"It did."

He kneeled at the feet of this man, this god and took in his familiarity. He rubbed his face on the leg in front of him as if a cat face still covered in blood, "They said you wouldn't come."

"But you didn't believe them?"

"You promised you would come of me, told me over and over, and you did Master, you came and you saved me."

His master held out his hand to the bird below him and watched as it's eye lit up, "Will you come with me now?"

Robin kissed the hand and then took it, his eyes still lowered, he had looked at his god once, and that was enough, he would do no more to anger him, "Yes master."

"Good."

Robin's laughter of delight rang out through the empty hallways.

**A/N: Um… I wanted to write something fluffy but apparently these two will not let me. Seriously I kept thinking of ways to write them in something fluffy but instead I get this. Alas I don't think I will ever write them happy. Ever.**


	11. Two

**Disclaimer: **It's not mine guys, although I wonder if I can get Slade to steal it for me?

**Timeline**: After Aftershocks

**A/N:** Since it seems like it's P-I-M-P time week whatever I'm just going to tell you to read SladinForever's stuff and Wynja's stuff if you have not done so already. DOOOOET. Also this fic might seem like a certain other fic of mine but IT'S NOT I SWEAR GUYS.

**Two**

When Robin starts finding himself waking up in places he doesn't remember being in he's a little worried but it's not something that he panics over, after all the places he happens to wake up in are not alleys or anything horrible. In fact at one point he wakes up in a hotel, sleeping soundly and warm. So he just goes back home and tells himself that he will go through a few individual tests to find out just what is wrong with him. He puts them off for a while until things finally start to get worse, he wakes up in a room covered in satin sheets and knows, he can feel _god damn it_, that he's had sex. He doesn't stay to around to find out whom with.

It get's even worse when his friends start to talk about a mission that they say he was with them on but he doesn't remember it at all. In fact he remembers waking up that night inside a sewer with cuts and bruises on him from a fight that he doesn't even remember. He's also holding something glowing red in his hands that he casts away unsure at all of what it is or where it came from. He thinks about calling Bruce and telling him of his problem but he knows that his mentor would call him back instantly and he doesn't want that, doesn't want to think about going back there. He's glad that Bruce taught him what he did but he's sick of the man treating him like a child.

So he asks Raven to help him, and she digs into his mind and when she comes up blank he worries even more. He knows Raven, knows that her powers should be strong enough to dig memories out of his mind that even he cannot get at. Which means that whatever the memories are, they must be locked up even tighter than all get out. It's latter when he's going through things that he needs to get rid of at that he stumbles over Slade's mask. That unlocks the first memory.

_"Why what are you doing here?"_

_"Stop the pleasantries Slade, I can find any one, even you."_

_"But I hid so well."_

_Slade is being sarcastic and he get's a little irked at that, "Doesn't mater, I know that not even death could stop you."_

_"Why the get up little bird?"_

_"Not Robin."_

_"I see, well, will this form bow to me?"_

_"I doubt it."_

_There are flurries of kicks and punches and Robin knows that for now they are equally matched but part of him, the part that remembers what it was like as Slade's apprentice, the part of him that liked it no matter how deprived it was or how much his friends would hate him for getting hot at the sheer voice of this man wants to lose, wants to be dominated by this man. His moves start getting sloppy on purpose until Slade is pressing into him, his body covering Robin's completely, "Now Robin, this body shall be mine."_

_Under him Robin bucks even knowing that it's no use, "Not Robin."_

_And then satin sheets under him as he clutches helpless at the man above him._

Robin drops the mask and stares at the ground before standing up mind made up. Now he knows where he has to go to get answers. He hates the idea but he knows that it's the only chance he has to figuring out just what the hell is going on with him, just why he's having these memories. He leaves a hastily scrawled message to the other Teen Titians, tells them that he's going out and not to contact him he won't answer, and not worry he will be back soon. He grabs the key for the R-cycle off the rack of keys and takes the elevator down to where the vehicles are stored. He mounts his cycle and uses the underground tunnel to reach the city. His mind is a whirl of though so he doesn't have time to enjoy the ride.

He pulls up at a nondescript building outside the city limits and parks his cycle. He choses to sneak in this time, is tired of kicking the door open. It doesn't take long, he's been here once before his memories tell him and soon he's dropping inside. He lands behind the man himself, "Not dead I see."

"Robin. I was wondering when you were going to show up again, especially after we had so much fun last time."

"So then it actually happened."

"Of course it did."

"I don't remember any of it."

Slade turns and for the first time in his life looks genuinely surprised. He masks it quickly but Robin sees it and files it under the file in his head that he uses for rare moments with this man, "I see."

"What?"

"I was curious why you were so adamant that you were not in fact Robin. You sure didn't look like yourself."

Robin growls, "Explain."

Laughter echo's through the empty building, "So impatient Robin, but I will tell you. You were dressed in that outfit from when we first meet, the one that was thousands times better than the silly one you are wearing now I might add."

"But that's…"

"Impossible?"

Slade arches what constitutes as an eyebrow and Robin wants to wipe the look of his face, "But then why?"

"You really are that clueless? Because you want it little one, you need that rush and the more you deny your body the more it rebels."

"I won't steal for you."

"The more you deny yourself Robin the more your body will reject you until Robin will stop existing. Now, think back, what was the last thing you did?"

Robin closes his eyes and then remembers. He had been after something, and the Titians had stopped him. Robin had been there he remembers, or at least a replacement Robin. Something he had been working on in his spare time, until he could use it properly. After all his last hologram had been so incomplete. And it wasn't like they would fall for that again. No, this time he would need something better something would have much more substance and would be much more believable. Robin smirked, and they had believed it, too well in fact. And it would have worked too but his creation had gotten out of hand, started believing that it was Robin. He had to put it down after that, after they had both taken care of the man who had attacked his fortress, his home. Robin opened his eyes and looked up at Slade his mind pulled between both selves unsure any more which was him and which wasn't, "Help."

"There is only one way I can help you Robin."

"I won't wear those colors again."

But even as he spoke it he knew that the other part of him wanted it, wanted it, badly, "Suit yourself Robin."

"Is it the only way?"

"For you? Yes."

"I want it."

A voice meant to sooth came out of Slade's voice as he walked up to Robin and cupped his face so he could look at the boy directly, "Then there is only one choice."

Robin felt himself nodding before he could stop himself, "Yes."

"Who are you?"

"Red X."

"And who do you serve?"

"You."

"Good."

**A/N: TOLD YOU IT WASN'T THE SAME (but it sort of was). Also since muse has come back to me it seems there might be a new chapter after this one soon. We shall see. **


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